How would a business plan aid an entrepreneur? – A question that stumps many, but if we’re honest, needs answering!
Business plan aids are the hearing aids of the business world. Without them, business would not be able to listen to the market and see its way through the “murky clouds of commerce”.
The use of business plan aids is by far a better alternative to fumbling your way through. In fact, a famous entrepreneur once remarked that business plan aids can “do everything except HR”.
Many businesses these days opt to release new products under the guise of an entrepreneur. Research shows the public are ten to a hundred-time more receptive to the “poor-man-done-good” story that sits with an entrepreneur than they are to large conglomerates swallowing everything whole and releasing new products left, right and centre. A business plan aid can help your entrepreneur make great decisions, as well as look and sound the part in the media.
There are several business plan aids on the market today. Entry level models provide basic direction, economic guidance, elasticity calculators and a version of Paper, Scissors, Rock for those all-important deal decisions.
The more-advanced business plan aids manage to incorporate real-time stock information, Magic 8-ball for determining one’s future and a competition bugging, allowing you to listen live to your competitor’s boardroom affairs.
Contrary to popular belief, business plan aids were not an offshoot of hearing aids, but were invented by a former MI5 developer who had found work on set for the Bond movie A View To A Kill. The anonymous creator soon left work on the movie when he realised the potential for his invention if applied on Wall Street.
Business plan aids essentially work on the premise that they are easy to fit, easy to use and hard to stuff up. All information is provided in audio-format, through the wearer’s ear.
When plan-aiding an entrepreneur, simply select the business plan aid that is right for your budget.
It is important that the entrepreneur you have chosen to represent your company’s new arm is able to talk-the-talk and your new business plan aid is going to get them doing just that!
Try to ask your entrepreneur questions like “Do you need aid-plan logging or will your own memory suffice?”, “Who are the potential competitors for this project and will they be worth listening in to?” and “Do you prefer Paper, Scissors, Rock or Magic-8 for difficult decisions?”.
A look through the features of the business plan aid you are planning to purchase will then help you arrive at the correct model for your needs.
Order, await its arrival, take a quick glance at the instructions and you’re away. You’ll be top of the tree by lunch!
Have you had any experiences with business plan aids? Are there models you can’t recommend? Is spying on your competition unethical? We’d love to hear your thoughts below.
‘Eating da poo poo’ is an ancient cultural practice carried out by anti-homosexuals in Uganda.
Contrary to popular belief, anti-homosexuality is an ailment that afflicts 0.27% of Ugandans, according to official records. It is not known what is the primary cause of anti-homosexuality among the Ugandan population, but a number of studies point to a range of causes from being dropped as a baby to chewing on too much plastic as a child.
Ugandan anti-homosexuality has its roots back in hunter-gatherer times. In fact, local dialectal studies have shown that Ugandan hunter-gatherers had their own lingo for identifying themselves as anti-homosexual – “Dey eat da poo poo” is a Ugandan hunter-gatherer phrase that translates exactly as “I do not like homosexuality”.
Fossil studies have shown that a Ugandan hunter-gatherer suffering from anti-homosexuality would usually follow the phrase by nibbling on a piece of their own stool.
Throughout the middle-ages, the amount of poo poo consumed by Ugandan anti-homosexuals rocketed. The practice became less of a statement and more for sustenance. By the end of the 1700s, Ugandan anti-homosexuals were consuming three full meals of their own faeces every day.
Aware of their own uniqueness amongst world-society, many Ugandan poo poo eaters found themselves driven underground. Many ran the risk of extreme persecution from other Ugandans and, in an effort to get a grip on the matter, ‘eating da poo poo’ was made illegal in Uganda in 1921.
This only served to drive the problem underground. Without proper treatment, many anti-homosexuals found themselves part of secret societies where they would congregate to ‘eat da poo poo’.
As the 20th century progressed technology, many Ugandan anti-homosexuals found that they enjoyed watching other men ‘eat da poo poo’ just as much as ‘eating da poo poo’ themselves.
Here is secret footage of a gang of Ugandan anti-homosexuals getting off on footage of two men ‘eating da poo poo’:
Anti-homosexuality is a sick disease that can upset one’s state of mind, not to mention lower one’s standard of living drastically.
Due to Uganda’s officially low-affliction rates, the government doesn’t see the problem as an issue. There are, however, countless anti-homosexuals who slip through the net each year. Many roam the streets, looking for their next fix of poo poo. Others join gangs, like the one we have just seen, and keep the illness alive in each other.
A study published in 2004 indicated that three out of five Ugandan orphans had anti-homosexual fathers and had been abandoned as a result of their poo poo addiction.
Have you been affected by anti-homosexuality? Do you suspect a friend or relative is suffering from it? Get help now!
Extreme 250 (Extreme CCL) were the world’s first boyband. Named after the God, Extremulous, these five men were said to be worthy of the Gods, with the voices of the angels.
It was early in 39BC that these four men, one from Camulodunum (Colchester, Essex, UK), one from Deva (Chester, UK), one from Corinium (Cirencester, UK) and two brothers from Verulamium (St. Albans, UK) got together in a horse shed to practice some pop songs.
No further information on the band survived beyond the collapse of the Roman Empire, though it is believed the 250 in the name Extreme 250 came from the men’s combined weights. 50Kg in 39BC was certainly nothing to be sniffed at, with the average human being being a lot smaller than what we have come to expect today.