Why is my snot bright yellow? – was a question first asked by the Ancient Greek philosopher Aristopollies.
It wasn’t until 1947, however, that anybody bothered to find an answer.
It is now known that there are three main factors that can turn one’s snot bright yellow in colour.
Lazy philosopher and notorious lothario Aristopollies couldn’t be bothered to discover why his snot was occasionally bright yellow. He was far too busy with other stuff.
He did, however, ask the question lots in his manuscripts, evidence of which still exists today. It seems Aristopollies had quite the obsession with mucus.
It was the beginning of the 1940s, and a man named John Holdsworth was playing around with some bright yellow snot in his garage.
After keeping diet records, he had taken a snot sample from his neighbour. He knew everything his neighbour had eaten and consumed in the last seven days.
By writing down, on a sheet of paper, the items his neighbour had consumed Holdsworth created a list of all the things likely to turn one’s snot bright yellow.
These were:
1. Snorting turmeric
Despite being good at keeping Alzheimer’s away, packing one’s nose with turmeric is extremely bad for bright yellow snot. In some cases, it has been known to cause gallons of bright yellow snot to pour out onto the floor and the surrounding areas.
In 1968, a man was shot by police in Belize after snorting what was later described as “a truckload of turmeric”. Belize is one of the few countries of the world where having bright yellow snot is a criminal offence and is punishable by death.
2. Eyeballing post-Berocca urine
Anybody who has had a Berocca, or similar vitamin-C based product, will have noticed the extreme yellowy colour it turns the consumer’s urine.
It is known that eyeballing (drinking through the eyes) this urine will turn one’s snot bright yellow for approximately 5.64 days. Avoid at all costs.
3. Eating raw canary
Much like the Western full-stop, in some cultures it is customary to munch on a raw canary at the end of every spoken sentence.
People of these cultures suffer from extremely thick, bright yellow snot. It’s disgusting. The snot often lasts for months, even years, with many opting for a vow of silence in order to clear their sinuses.
So, there in lies the reason(s) for your bright yellow snot. It is important that you remember not to touch your bright yellow snot as it can cause severe memory loss.
In case we are too late: It is important that you remember not to touch your bright yellow snot as it can cause severe memory loss.
Have you had a problem with bright yellow snot? Do you have any advice for fellow sufferers? Have you discovered any additional causes? Feel free to post in our comments section below.